how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
