Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
