she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
