What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
