so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
