you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
