I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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