I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
