so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
