i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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