Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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