hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
