He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
