Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
