I'm going to jail i love you
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
