he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
