Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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