Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
