Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
