Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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