Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
only if we run a train.
done.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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