...so i touched it.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
