Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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