She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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