the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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