and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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