Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
