I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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