But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He better not be in your backpack
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
