she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
