he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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