Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
