I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
