So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
