I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i wish my penis had a tongue
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
