I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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