You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
