u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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