oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
