Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
