i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
