I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
