i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
