Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
