I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
