The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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