I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
