I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
