How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
