I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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