Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
