never play flip cup with pint glasses
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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