Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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